St Neots (Open Door) - Singleness

This morning I joined Donna at Open Door in the Priory Centre in St Neots. The music and singing were good, and then Ian Hoile gave a helpful address on the topic of 'singleness' as part of the series they've been running, 'Sex and the City'.

Ian pointed out that there are rising numbers of single people in the UK and gave some statistics to support that claim. People may be single for a variety of reasons, perhaps they simply haven't found a partner yet, a spouse has died, or they've been divorced etc.

Ian referred particularly to 1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 25-40. He said that the main theme is learning to serve and honour the Lord. Singleness and marriage are both gifts ('gift' has the sense of 'gracing'). Sometimes it may be best to remain single and in this context Paul refers to the 'present crisis'.

There was a famine and considerable social upheaval at the time he was writing. Under such circumstances it may well be easier for those who are single. Being single also brings opportunities as there's no requirement to consider other family members.

Verse 39 provides some advice for finding a spouse.

However there are also challenges to being single. These have to do with putting life on hold, we are not called to do that. Our lives are for honouring and pleasing the Lord. Single people sometimes run the risk of becoming over committed and burning out, leading over full lives.

Loneliness and isolation can become serious issues. It's important for single people to have good circles of friends, talk about the issues in their lives, and have mentors. Families in the church should remember single people and invite them for meals and for other family events.

Bedford - Father's Heart, Session 6

In this session Mark Stibbe spoke about 'The Dynamics of Displacement'. He began by looking at the cycle of captivity that can hold us and then the cycle of liberty which can keep us free.

Mark read Psalm 27:10, a verse that reminds us that even if our natural parents forsake us, Yahweh has promised to receive us and stand by us.

The Cycle of Captivity - Negative experiences -> Negative beliefs -> Negative expectations -> leads back to further negative experiences and the cycle continues.

The Christian life is a journey of completion. Such things as abandonment, rejection, abuse (verbal or physical), neglect, and bereavement allow the enemy to lead us to negative beliefs about ourselves. The enemy is the author of all lies and negative experiences allow us more easily to believe them.

Negative expectations often involve the words 'always' and 'never' about ourselves. A negative expectation can only be displaced by a supernatural counter-experience - the Father's love. Only divine love can displace an earthly wound. We need to experience Romans 8:15 for ourselves, it's the experience of the Holy Spirit.

The Cycle of Liberty - Positive experiences -> Positive beliefs -> Positive expectations -> leads back to further positive experiences and the cycle continues.

When we experience the Father's love we find that Jesus, the Son, is the Wonderful Counsellor that we needed. This is good news, great news!(Jeremiah 29:11, Psalm 138:8)

It's for freedom that Christ set us free. Spurgeon once said that happy saints are attractive. (Romans 5:5, Romans 8:15)

See also:

• Notes on other sessions from this conference
• The Father's House Trust website (you may find the 'Media' and 'Shop' especially useful).

Bedford - Father's Heart, Session 4

In this presentation, Mark Stibbe discussed 'Going to the Next Level'. He spoke about forgiveness, freedom, fulfilment, and finishing.

Mark has been involved in some cross-party meetings at Westminster on the issue of fatherlessness in British society. He also mentioned that he is working towards creating a DVD of 'The Running Father' as a gift to every athlete at the 2012 London Olympics.

He introduced his subject by describing the adventures of 'Lawnchair Larry' who spectacularly went to 'the next level' in 1982.

In Mark 2:1-12 we see how the faith of the paralysed man's friends led them to 'go to the next level' in getting him before Jesus. We need three things to go to a new level in our lives, faith, friends and foes. Faith and friends are obvious, foes often irritate us like the thorns in the eagle's nest. The young bird might never try to fly if the nest remained cosy and comfortable.

Forgiveness - The man is forgiven first. Jesus speaks of his healing later, but first he announces that he is forgiven.

Freedom - After forgiveness he receives freedom - freedom to stand up, freedom to walk about. Can you imagine that freedom after many years of imprisonment in a body that is paralysed?

Fulfilment - The need to pick up the mat is prophetic, it's not an accidental detail, Jesus told him, 'Pick up your mat'. But why? The man is healed, he no longer needs his mat! In picking up the mat he is taking hold of the very thing that had previously taken hold of him. Instead of having to lie on his mat, now he is able to pick it up.

Finishing - It's so important to finish well. He can go home now. Jesus tells him, 'Pick up your mat and go home.' We need to finish well. When we're done people need to say, 'We've never seen it done like this before!' (verse 12)

See also:

• Notes on other sessions from this conference
• The Father's House Trust website (you may find the 'Media' and 'Shop' especially useful).

Bedford - Father's Heart, Session 3

During this session we heard Mark Stibbe speak on 'Varieties of Encounter'. He is an amusing and interesting speaker and had us in stitches at times. But he also makes some excellent points and there's a structured clarity in his thinking that provides a memorable framework.

Mark began by explaining that we must all encounter Father's love for ourselves, we are all different. Yahshua said, 'I have made you (Abba) known to them.' (John 17:25-26) And he is still doing it!

We heard about the dentist's lie that, 'You won't feel a thing.' But cessationism isn't true, we can (and should) still experience spiritual life in all its fullness. However we all need to be hugged in different, tailored ways. Mark explained that the kind of hug he gives his son would be inappropriate for his daughter. So we mustn't all expect to receive Father's touch in the same way.

He may touch us dramatically, or gently, or somewhere along the continuum between the two. In the same way our experience may come suddenly or gradually over time. But the testimonies people share are usually dramatic and sudden, much more rarely gentle and gradual.

His touch may be mediated or unmediated (it might come through another person's prayer or a touch by their hands, but it may also happen without anyone else's involvement. And it may be sought or unsought by us (see Isaiah 65:1). Finally it may come through an experience of pain or an experience of joy (perhaps as a result of having a bad father or a good one).

See also:

• Notes on other sessions from this conference
• The Father's House Trust website (you may find the 'Media' and 'Shop' especially useful).

Bedford - Father's Heart, Session 2

'Touching the Father's Heart' was a conference organised by 'The Kings Arms' and held in their new building. Session 2 was on the subject of Repentence and was presented by Simon Holley.

This was the first session Donna and I could get to.

During the time of singing and praise before Simon began speaking I had several thoughts prompted by the Holy Spirit which I jotted down.

When you are in danger and struggling I will come to be with you - walking across the water if necessary. When you are thrown into the fiery furnace I'll stand there with you too. You will always be safe in me and with me.

Whatever the world throws at you, even death itself, I will not forsake you, abandon you, or leave you. Let no-one stand between me and my children.

Simon reminded us of the parable of the prodigal son. (Or the prodigal father - it depends how you look at it. The father was extravagant with his love.) He made the point that, like the son, we need to turn back to our Father (repent). We need to turn back from the 'pig styes' in our lives.

Self-reliance is a pig stye which is trusting in ourselves rather than in him. It's the opposite of resting in the knowledge that Father knows what I need. George Muller used to say, 'Let's see what Father will do.'

Fear clogs the machinery of our lives and wears us down. But we know that perfect love casts out fear.

Judgements are another pig stye. We have no idea what others exeriences and circumstances might be. Simon quoted Matthew 7:1-2.

Unbelief severs me from Father's plan for me. It's a spiritual poison. Fear results in prayer as a last resort, I may prefer to work things out for myself. When I think things will never change in my life I am revealing my unbelief.

Control is freedom but on my terms as in Luke 7:30. Many people welcome freedom and spontaneous zeal as long as there's not too much of it. But we need the rushing wind of the Spirit regardless of the cost to our desire to restrict him.

See also:

• Notes on other sessions from this conference

Eaton Ford - Sharing a meal

Tonight we had decided to simply share a meal together, there was no plan beyond that.

We met at our house, Donna and me, Jim, Pam, Sean, and Joe. Sean had prepared some sushi (fish free as he knew I wouldn't have liked that). Pam's reaction when we talked about it showed that she didn't much like the sound of raw fish either! We followed it with jacket potatoes, vegetable chilli, beef chilli, and salad. Jim had brought an amazing pear and chocolate dessert.

It was enjoyable, fun to chat and good to eat together, but the conversation was centred mainly on events at Cornerstone. It's not surprising as most of us are involved with the shop in one way or another! There's a lot to talk about.

We're feeling our way with this and the conversation was different from our previous meetings when we haven't shared a meal. I'm keen to persevere, I have the sense it's important.